Not every letter sent to Scuttlebutt gets published in the newsletter. It is important that the letters contribute something to the conversation, are not taking cheap swipes, and are not (too) self-serving.
I wasn't sure what to do with this letter, whether to publish it or delete it. But given the amount of time that went into it, I am posting it here:
Dear Capt CURMUDGEON’,
I have a few unruly children named Oracle and Alinghi myself. I love both of them equally.
I like to send them to their own rooms alone.
O has 2 fudgicle sticks to chew on. A has 3 fudgicle sticks to chew on.
When O and A start fighting, as siblings will, I try to sit by and not root for either to emerge victorious.
I often ask O and A if they would prefer me to adopt Zed in place of them.
O and A usually complain loudly about Zed.
O and A can argue about who’s got the most pontoons in the water, and who’s got the fastest boat.
It’s long past time both got steering a course on the water instead of the courts.
Sail it with row boats in the pond in West Texas, but Sail it now!
And Shut THE **** UP! Both of you.
Regards, John R. Wodziak
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