Why parents drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
get to know your grandchildren.


Love, Your Son John



PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.


I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card That's in my center desk drawer.


I love you.


Call me when it's safe to come home...

Roy Disney - RIP

Roy Edward Disney, the nephew of Walt Disney, died Wednesday, December 16, 2009 after a yearlong battle with stomach cancer. He died in a Newport Beach, California, hospital at the age of 79. -- Read on

Who does the buttons on your boat?

ICAP Leopard, the 100ft super-maxi racing yacht owned by Helical Bar PLC chief executive Mike Slade, will be on start line December 26th for the Rolex Sydney-Hobart race. If you are curious about what it takes to run a maxi, here is the crew list for the race. I particularly like the 'Buttons' position:

BOW 1 - ZANE GILLS
BOW 2 - JUSTIN SLATTERY
BOW 3 - ROB WADDELL
BOW / TRIM CO -ORDINATOR - NIPPER SALTER
MAST - JOSH CLARK
MAST - DYLAN CLARKE
MAST - VOLKAN DIKMEN
PIT - KELVIN RAWLINGS
PIT - TIM SELLARS
PIT - JIM TURNER
TRIMMER - JEZ ELLIOT
TRIMMER / CREW COORD - JASON CARRINGTON
TRIMMER - BOB WYLIE
TRIMMER - TIM BURNELL
WATCH CAPTAIN / MAINSHEET - MARK THOMAS
HELM / TACTICS - RAY DAVIES
SKIPPER / HELM - MIKE SLADE
WATCH CAPTAIN / RUNNER - BRAD JACKSON
RUNNER / NAV - JULES SALTER
BOAT CAPTAIN / BUTTONS / HELM - CHRIS SHERLOCK
RUNNER / NAV - HUGH AGNEW
WATCH CAPTAIN - ROB GREENHALGH
TRAVELLER - HUGO SLADE

2010 International 14 Worlds

With 102 entries submitted to date for the 2010 CST Composites International 14 World Championship to be sailed on Sydney Harbour in Australia January 3-11, the class has found itself in a good news / bad news predicament.

The good news is that any class with a World Championship pulling more than 100 is doing very well, and this one includes representatives from Great Britain, Germany, Canada, Japan, USA, and a solid contingent from around Australia.

However, the bad news is that there will be concessions to accommodate a large fleet of high performance boats in a confined harbor setting. Sydney Harbour is expected to provide a mixed bag of wind conditions combined with a bit of chop and slop as harbour traffic combines with ocean swells and waves refracting off the three nearby headlands of North, South and Middle Heads.

Here are three adjustments that the event organizers needed to make:

* DIVIDED FLEETS: When registration exceeded 90 boats, it was deemed necessary to split the fleet into two groups. Following a Qualifying Series, entrants will compete in either the Gold Fleet for the World Championship, or the Silver Fleet.

* INSURANCE: Due to a confined harbor with high performance boats, each entry must be insured with valid third-party liability insurance with a minimum coverage of AUD$10,000,000. According to the event website, the insurance can cost about AUD$175 ($160USD).

* NO REACHING LEGS: The class constitution requires reaching legs, but due to the confined space and traffic, an amendment has been made for this event. Apparently, the Worlds PRO was running an 80-90 boat junior regatta on the same course as the Worlds when there was a near miss with a ferry due to the boats reaching to a mark and not giving an inch, just focused on getting to the mark straight ahead. It was decided if these sailors had the option to gybe off the risk would be eliminated. The class agreed that this was a safety issue, and would either have only windward leeward courses or possibly try short reaching legs if the racing area allowed for them.

Wow… no reaching! To think of skiffs not reaching is like drinking warm beer on a sunny day. While safety is paramount, it is not clear how the windward leeward courses will deal with two fleets of 50+ boats. Will one fleet be planing downwind toward the other fleet planing upwind? Hope not!

Worlds website: www.i14worlds.com

World Match Racing Tour 2009

The Monsoon Cup, the final event of the World Match Racing Tour (WMRT) held last week in Maylasia, offered the highest prize purse on the Tour (over $461,000), and as the final stage of the WMRT, was where the ISAF World Champion was crowned.

The Tour consists of nine events throughout Europe, Asia, and Bermuda, and for teams vying for the World Championship title, they count their best five scores leading into the final event, and then also include their final event score. To heighten the drama, the points earned at the final event are increased over the other tour events.

Among the top six teams in the final tour standings, four of them attended all nine events:
1. Adam Minoprio (NZL), ETNZ/BlackMatch Racing, 138 pts - 9 events
2. Torvar Mirsky (AUS), Mirsky Racing Team, 97 pts - 9 events
3. Ben Ainslie, (GBR), Team Origin, 95 pts - 4 events
4. Peter Gilmour (AUS), YANMAR, 93 pts - 7 events
5. Mathieu Richard (FRA), French Match Racing Team, 79 pts - 9 events
6. Ian Williams (GBR), Team Pindar, 75 pts - 9 events

Click here for 2009 Tour Final Standings

What is remarkable is how well Ainslie did in the 2009 Tour standings. Despite sailing in only three tour events before competing in the Monsoon Cup, he was far short on the scoring opportunities that the other teams had, yet still nearly finished second in the Tour standings. Ainslie’s record of finishing on the podium for all 4 of his events was unmatched; Minoprio came closest by finishing 5 of his 9 events in the top three. Needless to say, Ainslie has successfully made the transition from Olympic sailing to match racing.

Here was the disbursement of the Monsoon Cup prize money:

1. $105,000.00 - Adam Minoprio (NZL), ETNZ/BlackMatch Racing
2. $73,500.00 - Ben Ainslie (GBR), Team Origin
3. $44,167.00 - Peter Gilmour (AUS), YANMAR Racing
4. $38,278.00 - Sebastien Col (FRA), French Match Racing Team
5. $35,335.00 - Mathieu Richard (FRA), French Match Racing Team
6. $32,390.00 - Phil Robertson (NZL), Team NZL WAKA Racing
7. $29,446.00 - Torvar Mirsky (AUS), Mirsky Racing
8. $26,501.00 - Damien Iehl (FRA), French Match Racing Team
9. $23,557.00 - Magnus Holmberg (SWE), Victory Challenge
10. $20,612.00 - Francesco Bruni (ITA), Team Azzura
11. $17,667.00 - Ian Williams (GBR), Team Pindar
12. $14,723.00 - Hazwan Hazim Dermanwan (MAS), Taring Pelangi

Click here for Monsoon Cup results

Harvey Gamage

December 4, 2009
Will Tuthill, Newport, RI:



Sometimes bad weather leads to good things. The gnarly low pressure system that sucked warm wet air from the Gulf of Mexico all the way into the Continental Polar regions of Central Quebec made for some scary offshore conditions Thursday in R.I.

Sixty mph winds, triple overhead surf, and moon tides combined to over wash roads, down trees and flood streets. The 1974 coasting schooner Harvey Gamage sought shelter in Newport, and gave me a story for my weekly column in the Newport Daily News.

I spent nearly a year of my life on this boat and it was a sentimental reunion to go aboard and see the masts that I had "slushed" as a teenager at the Andros Island atoll in the Bahamas. The memories flooded back, and when I went home to my shop, I took extra special notice of the turning blocks left over from the coasting schooner owned by my great, great grandfather in the 1860s.

They are off on Friday - slow as ever - and awful to windward. No wonder they called it "Down East". Cool as they are, those things can't go to weather.

BOAT: Harvey Gamage
OWNER: Ocean Classroom Foundation
DESIGNER: Harvey Gamage
BUILDER: Harvey Gamage, South Bristol, ME
YEAR: 1974
LENGTH: 131 feet [40 meters]
HULL: Southern Yellow Pine over Oak
HISTORY:
Based in South Bristol, Maine, Harvey Gamage was the last of the great builders of New England coasting schooners. Used as bulk transport vessels, these boats laid the very basis of civilization, as we know it today, from Maine to the Caribbean. Everything from Goddard & Townsend furniture made in Newport, to rum, grain, molasses, and slaves from up and down the coast moved on coasting schooners.

For over three decades, the last boat built by Harvey Gamage has been educating students and changing lives. Ocean Classrooms in collaboration with the University of Maine, offers a Seamester a semester of college credits taught at sea, aboard Harvey Gamage - inspiring and awakening students while providing real college credits.

Last week, en route to the Caribbean, the Gamage encountered a bad storm. Captain & crew radioed into Newport seeking shelter. The good folks at Sail Newport extended a warm welcome, free dockage and safety from the storm.

Securely tied to the Alofsin Pier, the sailors aboard Gamage had a chance to reflect upon the traditions of the sea, and the many coasting schooners that visited Newport in centuries past.

Tiger Woods

A mix of celebrity and public embarrassment must be a pretty exciting moment for joke writers:

Tiger Woods owns lots of expensive cars.
Now he has a hole in one.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
They went clubbing.

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree.
He couldn't decide between the wood or the iron.

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger has a better Driver.

We heard that Tiger’s wife has been interested in taking up golf.
However, 2:30am does sound a bit of an odd time to start hitting your Woods.

Ping just offered Elin Nordegren an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers.
They are marketing them as "clubs you can beat Tiger with."

News travels fast. The Chinese are already making a movie about Tiger Woods' crash.
They are calling it, "Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger."

EA Sports has announced the recall of Tiger Woods 2010 so a new bonus level can be added called "Tiger VS The Driveway".
A collector's edition will be sold with a free Wii steering wheel.

What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals?
They're both clubbed by Scandinavians.

If you made it to work this morning, you have earned the right to say "I can out drive Tiger Woods."

Police: Did you hit your husband with the golf club.
Elin: Yes I hit him three or four times.
Police: Well which was it three or four?
Elin: Just put me down for three.

Thanks to Red Webb for the info.